New York City Nightlife

We get all types of creatures wandering into the hotel when working overnight. Someone just walked in who clearly had too much to drink tonight. I knew from the moment he walked in that it would be a fun conversation and I'd write about it. Here's how it went:

(Man walks in, stops in the middle of the lobby, purses his lips while looking around, and then walks over to the desk.)
Man: (while still looking around) This looks different. Did you change it tonight?
Me: The lobby looks different?
Man: Ya, it's different than when I left. Did you move the desk from the other wall?
Me: No sir, we haven't moved anything tonight. In fact, it's been like this for 8 years.
Man: No way! You're s***ting me!
Me: No, I wish I was though!
(He looks at me quizzically)
Man: Am I staying here?
Me: That's a good question. Are you? What's your name?
Man: I'm not sure. Do you have coffee and tea in the back?
Me: Yes. Just around the corner to the right.
Man: So I am staying here. Are you sure you didn't move things around?
Me: Ya, I'm positive.
Man: This must be wrong. I don't remember you. I'm going to find my place. Can you point me in the right direction?
Me: Do you know where you're staying?
Man: (Silence...)
Me: Are you staying in a hotel or an apartment?
Man: It's...um...crap. (Rubs eyes and face). I'm so confused!
Me: Do you know what street you're supposed to be on?
Man: Umm...up. There somewhere (pointing to the front door).
Me: Ok, so you're staying uptown. There's a start. Do you know the name of the place?
Man: No, but it looks like this. I'm going to walk uptown. Where is that?

I point him in the right direction and help him get his bearing straight. The poor guy proceeded to walk down a quarter of a block and fell twice before the next corner. As entertaining as that was, I hope he makes it back ok. Mainly because he'll be safe, but also so the night auditor at the hotel he's going to can enjoy his presence as well.

Moral of the story: If you're planning on getting piss drunk in New York City, don't get separated from your friends, and keep a hotel business card on you, so someone can direct you to where you need to go when you can't get there yourself.